Having a crush can consume you. It can feel like your only problem and can distract you from other important things in your life. Tons of kids and teens write in with their crush questions, and today on often result in hurt. They also result in confusion as we try to figure out if people like us back or not. Sometimes we get hurt simply by telling people how we feel, and there is nothing worse than coming clean about something you didnāt think you could talk about, only to be punished, rejected or cast off. We have to find more mature ways of dealing with rejection. If someone is your friend and tells you they like you, let them know you donāt feel the same way (if that's the case), but donāt stop being their friend. Donāt scare away just because someone likes you. Take it as a compliment and treat that person with respect. Eventually, they will get over you and the situation will all become water under the bridge.
Letās Take a Look at This Weekās Questions: 94a3d
Question by Anonymous 3h225f
Dear Dish-It,Ā I'm BFFS with two guys. (I'm a girl) one day we were snap chatting and one of them asked me who I liked. I told him I'd tell him if he told me who he liked. He agreed so I said," I like a guy from another school", and I said," I used to like both of them". Then the guy said he liked me. I replied, "What! Me?". Then he said he has friends over and they wanted to see my reaction. They pranked me! I trusted him! Now our friendship is drifting and one of them seems like I annoy him. I don't know what to do. They were my best friends. Please help!!!
Insight/advice: d4v3v
What it seems like to me is that this guy was hoping you would say you like him too. When he felt rejected he had to find a reason to calm his embarrassment, so he said it was a prank. I could be wrong, but that is what it sounds like. People at this age are so fit in. If these people are really your friends, they will get over it, and come around in time. Though it might be wise to give these people some space. Donāt give them the opportunity to mistreat you. Hang out with people who make you feel good, accepted and wanted.Ā
Question by Nate 3v1i47
I like a girl in my class, but I donāt know how to ask her out. Please help me...
Insight/advice: d4v3v
This question has come up in previous Crush articles and I am going to link you, view it here. As I stated previously, there are a number of ways to ask someone out, but you just have to do it. Rejection is something normal we all have to deal with, but at least if you take the chance you will have the answer. Also, the more you ask people out the less you will be affected by the rejection.
Ways to Ask People Out:
- You can send a note
- Write an email
- Send a Facebook message
- Send a video Snapchat
- Invite them to the movies
- Ask them out in person at the right time
- Call them on the phone
- Send them a text
- Find a cute and creative way to do itĀ
Question by Paulinne 5i1b67
Thereās this boy in class, I have a crush on him, but I donāt know how to overcome this awkwardness inside of me? So, how [do you] be normal around the boy you like?
Insight/advice: d4v3v
Sounds like your feelings for this boy make you shy. Thatās totally normal and natural. Do not judge yourself for any of that. Recognize that you have real feelings and they make you act differently around this guy. Have you ever tried talking to him? Have you ever sent him a message and tried to start a conversation? Basically, I am asking if you have tested his interests at all? Do you think he could like you back? If so, great, but otherwise youāre just going to have to try and get over this boy. Once you do, you wonāt feel so strange being around him.Ā
Question from StopItGetSomeHelp 5l1w53
Hello! I'm in need of urgent advice. The guy I have a crush on and I were best friends around two years ago. Somebody told him that I like him, and now he avoids me like the plague... I really just want to be friends with him again even if he doesn't like me back. What should I do? I'm quite an awkward girl, and I can't make conversation for the life of me. We're going into seventh grade, and I haven't talked to him nor seen him all summer. Please help!
Insight/advice: d4v3v
Would you say you no longer have feelings for this boy? Sometimes boys get scared off when they hear girls like them. He feels like he canāt pay attention to you right now because he doesnāt want to give you any wrong ideas, and he doesnāt want to deal with the issue. He is avoiding you. If it were me, and I felt like I have a hard time talking, I would write a note or send a message via social media. Stating something like: āI know I made things āweirdā between us when you found out I liked you, but I realize that I just like you as a friend. If I ever thought sharing that information would mean losing you as a friend, I never would have. I really just miss your company and would like us to be cool again, do you think we can put it all past us? Obviously, use your own words and say what makes the most sense for you and your situation, but there is no harm in reaching out. āTalk About it Tuesdaysā are meant to solid relationship of any nature. Hopefully, you can tell him you are over it and you can be friends again. Often guys just want to be cool. I think he just needs to hear that you are past your romantic feelings.Ā
Question from anonymous 6f311j
Dear Dish-It, I have a huge crush on this boy but my best friend likes him too, what should I do. I donāt want to hurt my best friend and I also donāt want to miss my opportunity and if I do ask what do I say?Ā
Insight/advice: d4v3v
We want to provide you with all the insight we possibly can, so check out this article, which discusses a similar situation. Dear-Dish-Itās rule is to never let a boy get in the way of friendship, especially your best friend. Do you feel like this boy likes you back, or do you just not want to miss out on a chance? If you are going to do anything, I would definitely recommend talking to your friend first. Find out how much she likes him and whether or not she would you going after him. Really, it will be the boyās choice who he wants to be with and that may end up being neither of you. Whatās important is your friendship and you want to keep that in tact because cute boys come and go, but some friendships are forever.Ā
Question by Despret guy 4z2h1h
I really like someone (Let's call her Y). Y and her friends think I'm some kind of monster, but I really am a nice, funny, relatable boy, what do I do?
Insight/advice: d4v3v
Sounds like you have to find a way for this girl to see you for who you really are. Try talking to her on your own and see if she shows any interest. Regardless, it sounds like you know what you have to offer so I wouldnāt go around hanging out with people who think negatively of you. If this girl is worth it, she wonāt care what her friends think. , kids and teens are very influenced by their friend groups, don't take it personally if she won't give you a chance. She might just be looking out for herself and her own reputation. Regardless, if you are meant to be together, you will and no factors will stand in the way of that. Ā
Question from anonymous 6f311j
Hi! I have a crush, who I like and have talked to before. But I think he likes me, and I think he knows that I like him also. He had his friends go up to me and ask questions like, " Fav Colour, Fav Food". My friends also went up to him and asked the same kind of questions and told him to talk to me also. I think I'm afraid something is going to happen if I say to him I like him. What do you think is going to happen?Ā 71734s
Insight/advice: d4v3v
If I were you, I wouldnāt make any sudden moves, donāt say anything about feelings, just get to know this guy. Try talking to him directly and not through your friends. Try not to involve other people and make it a spectacle. It sounds like he is interested in getting to know you, but you donāt want to scare him off, so just go at a healthy pace. Continue to talk to him and get to know him and find out how much you truly like him before you say anything. Though I wouldn't answer his questions through other people, I would just talk to him yourself. How else are you truly going to learn if you like this boy?Ā
Question by Goldenfreddy_07 2u5c4x
Dear Dish-It, three girls like me and I donāt know what to do. Can you help me?
Insight/advice: d4v3v
Do you like any of these three girls or do you just like the attention? Itās nice to be wanted and ired, but you donāt want to toy with their feelings or lead them on. Honesty is the best solution here. If you feel ready and like one of the girls, tell them, be with them, but donāt keep this game going on any longer simply out of amusement. Think about peopleās feelings, consider the outcomes and act accordingly. It;s not necessarily a problem that three girls like you, it's actually a huge compliment, but how you decide to treat these girls is up to you, and I hope you pick the high road, which entails being classy and sparing these girl's feelings.Ā
Afterthoughts 293n5d
It can be very complicated having crushes, but you donāt want to let them affect your mental health. If you find yourself unable to concentrate on important things, then you need to re-look at the situation. CrushesĀ are meant to be fun at this age, playful, innocent, they shouldnāt be hurting you or preventing you from living your life. Here are some things to consider when crushing:
- Donāt go after people your friends like unless you have their permission
- Donāt like people who are already involved
- Donāt crush after someone who is abusive, rude to you or puts you down
- Donāt crush over someone who wants something in return
- Donāt lead people on just to get attention
- Confront your feelings but have no expectations
- Donāt get other people involved in your crush (unless you really trust them)
- Donāt make your situation gossip for others
- Only tell people that you trust about your crush
- you are young and the chances of meeting the one are slim
- Therefore, relax, enjoy yourself and have fun with it
Ideally, you want to crush on someone who feels the same way, but if this doesnāt happen donāt get discouraged. Donāt think that you wonāt move on or meet someone new because you will. Matters of the heart take time to heal. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there and get rejected so that you can pick yourself up and keep moving on. Never give up. Eventually, you are going to meet someone and it will click.
On a separate housekeeping front, weāve been getting a lot of questions about femaleĀ hygiene issues and periods. Please re-read ourĀ Doās and DonātsĀ listed below as these subject matters are not to be addressed by Dear-Dish-It.Ā I apologize, but you need to see your doctor for educated advice and consult a grown up.Ā
Interested in getting in touch withĀ Dear Dish-It? Simply email [email protected] with your concern, and we will address you on āLetās Talk about it Tuesdayā if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate,Ā check out this article!
Have Your SayĀ 3r1s2c
Do you think it takes a long time to get over a crush? Whatās the most important thing youāve learned in the dating game?
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